Empty Nesters

Emily Boilard
Contributing Writer

In many cases, the transition of going to college is heavily centered around the students. There are so many new experiences that are faced and independence is becoming more prevalent. College students arrive and excitement is not in short supply, but what about their parents? They are experiencing something entirely new as well, but the students are the focus. Many college students are leaving home for the first time, leaving a gap in their daily family life, an empty seat at the dinner table, the absence of their laughter in the home, but they, themselves cannot feel that absence. It is their families that feel it every day, while college students may not even second guess it or think about it at all. 

UMF students arrived back on campus on Aug. 28, gearing up for another year while parents were preparing themselves for another year of new experiences and a new sense of emptiness.  

“I would say it is always scary, unsettling, and heartbreaking to drop her off every year. It doesn’t get any easier,” Melissa Boilard said. “I always think it is going to get a little easier, but it never does.” 

Boilard is the parent of a student at UMF, and she said being a parent away from their child is a confusing, difficult situation for everyone involved. Many college students still need or rely on their parents or guardians, even if it is just emotionally. Not being physically with them may also be extremely difficult for many students, along with their caretakers. 

“It’s such an emotional rollercoaster. I am always so proud of [her], but I miss [her] like crazy.” Boilard explained. 

UMF offers various programs for students who may be struggling with being homesick, but there are also ways for parents to receive information, helping them feel more at ease with the transition of sending their children to college. There is a parent portal connected to UMF where parents may ask questions and receive answers to be better informed about the campus as a whole. 

“Everyone on campus seems to be eager to support the students along with their families,” Boilard said about UMF helping parents through the transition. 

Families find ways to keep in touch with their children and check in on how they are doing, both academically and mentally. 

“Honestly, some days are easier than others. Sometimes I just need to FaceTime and see her to make sure she’s okay or call just to hear her voice,” Boilard said. 

Many parents still think about the absence of their child that college brought. Shelly Hebert, a mom of a college graduate recalls what it was like for her daughter, Mariah to be away at school. 

“I feel very fortunate that Mariah was less than an hour away. If she ever got homesick, she could come home for a home-cooked meal, a quiet place to study, or even just to feel the comfort of home.” 

Going off to college can be a time of fear and sadness, but also a time where parents can see their children grow in ways they might never have before.